I am… - A different perspective, so he thinks!

I HATE Facebook dating ads

• 1. They are really crap looking and I don’t believe for a second that I would meet these hot-ass women on a sleazy dating site like the ones advertised!
  
• 2. Refer to point one
• 3. THEY ARE ONLY AFTER OUR MONEY
• 4. You cannot turn them off, I changed my status to married and the still showed up on my profile NUISANCE!

So during this rant I thought…you know what if I wanted to I could advertise myself, cut out the middle man! So I investigated this and found that I could advertise myself to 17K women between 18-28 that are single and living within 50 miles for 32p per click. It would cost me £5,440 if each of these women click my profile but still better than those dating sites.
If this were to take off as a dating option user would need to ad in things like hair colour hobbies are you hot or not? I would definitely include a do not advertise to fatties button.

I might do it! This is the sort of stuff the BBC news cover now that they have pulled their budgets and can’t cover real news now!

My iPod is a Miracle of Technology

So, I now believe that my iPod is a Jesus iPod. The story goes…my iPod was working fine, I got out the car and forgot to grab it my iPod fell into a stream. I quickly grabbed it out the stream, it had been full submerged (some might say baptised), it was still working I tried to turn it off to stop it shorting but because the screen was wet I couldn’t. By the time I got into the flat it had died.

I put it on the radiator, the radiator wasn’t on, thinking it was full of water. Then later in the night my iPod white screened, I couldn’t reset it. It was shining a white light that couldn’t be turned off. After a few attempts I left it thinking it was guffed.

I woke up the next morning and the light was off I hit the on button and like a miracle it turned on! I was like ‘WHOA!’, I have a Jesus iPod! It came back from the dead!

Now, depending on your technological religious beliefs you may not feel the same way as I do. For instance, iPod is made in the image of God, God in this case would be apple. This got me thinking, generally because of my job Google is God. Does this mean that in that their are many gods, like the Greek gods. Google is God of search, apple God of hardware and Linux the God of software (I think Google might square Linux soon, I think they want to be King God).

SO! The above being the case, Microsoft is clearly the devil!…as the picture below illustrates.

I’ve Been Made Redundant

Hello everyone, sorry it’s been a bit of time since I posted a rant.
As you can guess by the title of this post I have been made redundant from my job, it sux a little purely because now I need to find another job in a country with no jobs. Anyway I’m not going to look too much at the negative side of this, instead lets look at the things I can do while not working. I think it’s best display in list format.

1. Watch The Mighty Boosh, The IT Crowd and new episodes of The Sarah Connor Chronicles S2 back to back
2. Get up whenever I please
3. Go for walks in the afternoon
4. Work on mixes that the public will never hear
5. Make lots of food (this is entirely dependant on your redundancy package)
6. Go for a nap after your afternoon walk
7. Watch movies until late at night
8. Learn programming languages for the fun of it
9. Nap a bit more
10. You don’t need to be nice to the people you thought were idiots at your old work (I particularly like this one)

These are just some of the things that I get up to when ‘in between jobs’, when you think about it the list could be endless.

I think I might go for a nap now…

What should I do this year?

As we all know New Years Eve is an anti-climax. I have been thinking what to do this year and I kinda want to have a party in my new flat. It would be nice to have some friends round and some of their select friends to party with and eventually passout!

However, my mate is Dj’ing at the Carnival Arts and has invited me along, and said I don’t have a choice. WHAT TO DO? Your votes please! I really want to have some friends round but I think everyone will have plans now and I know my cuz wants to stay out until after the bells. Is it possible to have a post bells party? I have never been to one? I have been to parties that have started before the bells which I have arrived at after the bells, but never one that started after the bells without going to a club first.

I’m reaching out! What should I do??

of living on my own…

OK, so that was a little sarcastic but honestly I had to get out of my bed at 2 in the morning and drive to Tescos to get cough medicine. It was the last resort as I was about to cough up my insides! I think you should just picture that for a minute!!

and on the another note when you type ‘cough up insides’ into google this comes up:

The saviour of the day was Veno’s dry cough medicine!

Completely unnecessary post but I just wanted to share with you guys!